Just found my old photo. Maybe, the image is about 5 years old. Sometimes, I don’t like looking at my old pictures. I mean, when I was younger. They make me feel old. I miss my long hair. I love long hair. I think I will not cut my hair short again. I prefer long hair because it suits me more, I think. I feel like a different person when I have short hair. It’s like, it’s not real me. Maybe, I just need some more time to get used to short hair.
I need new photos as well. So, I’m going to have my new portfolio done very soon. Now that I have shorter hair. So I need new portfolio for my current look. I need to contact my photographer again. I think his prices are ok, compared to other photographers whose prices tend to be quite expensive. I don’t know why they have to charge people that much just for photos to be taken? If I could take photos of myself, I would do it. But I couldn’t. Only selfies.
In entertainment industry, I know that image is everything. But 90% of actors are just aspiring actors with limited budget. And most of them working in restaurants, waiting tables to make ends meet, pay for acting class and many other classes that could improve their skills, while they’re working their way to become a working actor or waiting for their big breakthrough, which may never come.
I have tried to be a photographer myself. I charged very affordable prices. But it didn’t go so well. Maybe, I didn’t try hard enough. Because I wanted to focus all my energy to become a screenwriter instead. But, I might go back and try again. I could make it as my side job, while I am working on my first short film. I want to do something creative but still make a living out of it. I will consider going back working as a photographer again.
I just bought a printing machine. I was used to running to an internet cafe back and forth, and back and forth, when I wanted to print something. I can’t take it anymore. And now since I have to work with lots of manuscripts, I must have a printing machine. I will be printing out lots of papers for my film scripts. It would not be convenient for me if I had to run to internet cafe all the time then. And it’s very handy, indeed. When I need something, I just print it out right away. Now when I’m finished with my screenplay, I can just print it out and take my time to read it thoroughly – again and again. I prefer reading books in front of my face. I don’t like reading thing from the computer screen. I don’t know. It doesn’t give me the same sense of understanding, as if I read it directly from the actual paper. And the printing machine cost me less than £30. So it’s not a bad investment. I spent more money on the internet cafe for my printings and internet in the past. I don’t know why I didn’t think about buying a printing machine before now? Maybe it’s because I have to work with my script almost every day now. So I really have to own a printing machine, if I want thing to go smoothly without interruption. Because it can be quite time consuming having to stop doing what I needed to do, to run to internet cafe to print something out. And back home again, and start all over again like a circle. I so look forward to start filming my first short film! I have a feeling, it will be good. I just know. I am passionate about film & TV, or, entertainment industry in general. So I will put 200% in my work, with love & passion. And with a long experience in film business, I know, I can do it. I feel so confident that nothing can stop me now. My confidence and self-esteem are extremely high at the moment. And it feels great. I think, nothing is more important than your own motivation. I think I can and will succeed. Then that is. I don’t need others to support me, to tell me what I can do or cannot, what I’m capable of doing, and so on. Because in the end, nobody knows you but yourself. Today is the start of my new chapter. It’s such a relief to have come to this positive conclusion.
Today, I will spend my day writing, plotting, planning, constructing, and more, my first short film. I will begin with a short film first before I jump to feature film. I will take small step at a time. Until I feel more confident to make feature film. Short film is what aspiring filmmakers do, to begin with. And that seems like a good idea. It’s easy, fast, and doesn’t really need lots of characters. So, I will try to make my first short film as soon as possible. And I will be using my smartphone to make the film. So that’s a challenge for me right there. I will try anyway. If I have never tried it, I will never know how it’s gonna work. I will be the lead actress in my short film as well, to save time to look for other actresses. It’s a short film, after all. So I just want to get it started as soon as I can. Therefore, there’s no need to use too many actors, which will slow down my film making process. Then I can get started, perhaps, within two days already. Or maybe even tomorrow! I already have the story in my head. I have, actually, lots of stories in my head waiting to be told. So it’s about transferring it onto paper, construct, shoot, edit, etc. Then I am almost done with it. Then it’s time to submit it to various film festivals. I have already finished my scriptwriting class. I think, I will continue to the intermediate class as well, to complete the whole film producing process, from how to write a film script to how to distribute it. Well, my first short film might be just right around the corner. So excited!
I love flowers. So I might go to the Chelsea Flower Show this week. And today, the weather is incredibly sunny. It will continue like this for the rest of next week as well. So the Chelsea Flower Show starts in a very good timing, indeed, from 23-27 May 2017. Flower and sunshine, they are such a lovely couple. I wish, I lived in a little house with big garden, so that I could plant all the lovely blossoms in it. I am a girl. So I love anything romantic, e.g. flowers, beaches, and Autumn. Sometimes, I wish, I lived in a dream world full of beautiful inflorescence & happiness. Everybody’s happy. And we will all live forever. Maybe, I should write a fantasy novel instead. That’s what going on in my mind when I walk among the lovely blooms. I feel so positive about life and everything in general. The world is such a beautiful place to live. There’s no sorrow in this world -only joy exists. It’s unbelievable how flowers can make you feel creative and cheerful. And that’s why whenever I have time, I will go to park or big garden, to walk around and enjoy the flowers, fresh air, and nature on the whole. And I feel super calm and relaxed afterwards. Many good ideas and plans also begin to pop up in my head. All in all, I just love nature so much. I just do.
I finally have time to write blog again after a long filming week. I started filming for the first production company from Monday 15 – Wednesday 17. Then after that for the second production company from Thursday 18 – Friday 19. Today is Saturday 20, I don’t have any filming or work. So I am free. But tomorrow, I have to start working again. And it looks like, I have lots of pencil and booking for acting jobs next week as well. And I might have to work 7 days straight next week. So, it will be a tough week ahead for me – again.
My tutor recommended us to watch and analyse this film, “In a Lonely Place.” It’s good for aspiring screenwriters to study it. So I might watch it tonight. But there are many films that I want to watch and study. So today, I will start with this one first. I also have to come up with memorable phrase of the tagline for my film. I love the tagline of the Alien (1979), “In space, no one can hear you scream.” It’s short, concise, and memorable. But it still tells you a bit what the movie is about, or, what you are going to experience without giving too much away. So I have to work on my own movie tagline that can be as smart as this one, or close. I try not to think too hard. I don’t think I even have time to think hard since I have to work constantly.
Well, I will start watching this film now.
Talk to you later!
I have not drunk beer for ages. So today, I feel like drinking just a little. Maybe just one can of beer. A little bit of alcohol makes us feel happy and cheerful, as long as it’s not too excessive. Then I make a spicy noodle soup for dinner. I think spicy food and beer or alcohol go along with each other very well. Then I will watch some TV. It’s a relaxing day after a long stressful week, and also to get ready for a new, busy week ahead. I don’t know what to watch anyway. I might watch a film that I have to analyse for my script writing class. There are films that the tutor told us to watch which are really good to study for aspiring screenwriters. So I might watch that tonight.
I will start packing for the filming days next week. We will be filming outside of London. So, we might have to rent a cheap hotel close to the film set to stay, instead of driving back and fort between London and the filming location. We have to film several days. So it might be worth it to share a hotel room with others that work together. It could be a fun trip & time together. Who knows. If we decided to stay at a hotel, then I would not be able to come back to London to attend my scriptwriting class. Well, maybe just this one time.
Today, it’s only my day off. So I have to spend it wisely. I think, I will spend my day, pretty much, on preparing for the filming next week, checking my emails, practising my script writing, reading (if I could find time for it or in the mood for it), and relaxing.
Me on the film set not long ago. My hair is just this long past the shoulder. I just had a haircut last month, maybe. But my hair grows very fast. About a couple of months from now, it will grow very long again. I know it. I have to keep having a haircut like every 3-4 months, if I don’t want to have my hair that long.
I eat out quite often now: Breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I’m always on the go, having to work or filming somewhere almost daily. So, I rarely do the cooking and eating home anymore. I still have some food in the fridge that I have to throw out when I get home tonight since it’s getting bad now. I can’t do the shopping and storing food no more because I don’t know where I will be working or filming tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow, and the day after that, and so on. But it’s OK. I’m getting used to it now. Next week, I will get busy with the filming again. It’s going to be a long week ahead. I also have some homework to do from my scriptwriting class, which will start again on Monday. So when I finish filming on Monday, I have to go straight to the scriptwriting class, if it’s not too late. I hope I can make it. Otherwise, I would have paid for the class and only attended it once which isn’t so good. Anyway, acting is more important. It’s my top priority career, after all.
And today, I will be going to an audition after finishing my breakfast. Then after the audition, I have to go to work. That’s how my days go every week. It’s a busy life. I think, everybody lives like this nowadays. There’s no other way around it.
I started my scriptwriting class yesterday. It went well. I think, I have learned a lot. There’re many useful techniques, elements, skills, and more that I wouldn’t have known if I didn’t attend the scriptwriting lesson yesterday. And there are two more weeks to go. I can’t wait to continue next week already. I thought, I could just do it by myself. But, it’s worth it to receive a proper knowledge from someone face-to-face who knows this field well, and to have the opportunity to discuss the subject with other classmates who have same interests, working together, sharing ideas, etc. Now I think, I will be able to finish the script faster. So hopefully, within a couple of months from now, I could already have a finished script in my hand. Because this class is for beginner. And it lasts 3 weeks – once a week. Then after this class, there’s an another class for intermediate as well, which takes about another 4 weeks. And I think, I will continue with other class as well.
So by July or August this year, I might have completed the script already. So excited! I so look forward to the day that I, actually, have my own film script in my hand. And that I can call myself a screenwriter at long last. Then after that it’s a matter of selling the script or making a film out of it myself. It’s very likely that I will attempt to shoot the film myself. I’m not sure yet. It might be that I could easily sell the script. Then I don’t have to go through the challenging process of making the film myself. But who knows. Nothing is certain. So, I will see first how everything will turn out. Then I can decide later. But for now, I just enjoy learning how to write the script.
I have a whole day to relax today before the busy week begins tomorrow! Have to start filming a feature film again for 2-3 days from tomorrow. Then this weekend I have to work – long shifts. Next week as well. I supposed to be working today, too, if I wanted to. But I chose to save my energy for filming tomorrow. So I didn’t want to work anyway, running around London, getting home late, etc. Then I might not get some sleep at all since it looks like I will have an early call time tomorrow. So just to be sure that I will get some sleep before the shooting, I shall not do any work today and risk being tired and not getting any sleep. Then the chance is that I might stand up late for the filming, which could be worse. I hate showing up on set tired or even late. I can’t concentrate on anything, can’t enjoy the work, in a bad mood, and so forth.
It might be a long day tomorrow. And the day after tomorrow as well, and…..I was about to pack for tomorrow. But then I remember, I already left my outfits at the costume department ready for the filming, which is good. So I don’t have to drag my suitcase around early in the morning. If I did have early call time, which could be as early as 3am or 4am, perhaps. It happened a few times before that I had very early call times like this. So I just need to be prepared.
But the good thing is that this will be the first time that I do not have to pack for the filming and drag my suitcase around London. I feel weird, but also feel relieved at the same time. So all I have to do is meeting up on time and looking fresh and active.
I like listening to the music from The Killers. One of my fav bands. I think, they make meaningful music. Enjoy the song, “Human”, from The Killers: