I have two monologues to practise. I will do it tomorrow. This time is not a self-tape audition. One is an actual audition that I have to prepare my monologue for. And another one is a play. A real show that I have to perform for people at a venue – a solo performance which I write the piece myself. So, I’m so excited! I’m getting more and more busy. I have to keep an eye on my calendar, not to miss any meetings, shows, auditions, networking events, and more. And I also have to start looking for fund to make my film or trying to sell my screenplay. So every day, I have a to-do list that I have to follow closely since it’s very important that I achieve my goals. I used to dislike a to-do list because I think it limits your creativity. But now if I want any success in my career, I have to start taking it seriously and following every step it takes to make my dreams come true. I can’t waste my time no more. I had spent my time unwisely for more than a decade in the past. It’s time to get myself together and go after what I want and do whatever I can to get there where I want to be.
The above is my 4th solo performance video: Driving. I have to remember to make acting videos every week, to train my acting skills. So I try to maintain that as well. But I still have some videos that I made some weeks ago which I recorded myself doing several one-person shows. It’s really good. So I can just post that for now until I am done with posting the last one, which I still have one more to go, I will then make a new series again. Or maybe, I will just make a fresh one each time I want to upload a new video to YouTube. So each time, I get the chance to perform anew. I then might get a new, excellent idea weekly. If I did multiple performances in one go, my acting styles and stories might not diverse that much. So maybe it’s better to come up with an up-to-date show each week instead.
I haven’t blogged for a while – been busy with lots of different things. One of the things is that I start preparing for the making of my upcoming feature film, which I have just finished writing the screenplay. I’m pretty sure that I will make the film myself. But only if I could get a fund for it. If not, then I have to sell the script instead. And the movie is a coming-of-age drama which takes place in modern-day Britain. It’s based on a true story that happened in Thailand.
But since it is a low-budget indie film I will have to make it here in UK instead, using actors in UK. It will be a mixture of performers from various nationalities. I want this project to reflect diversity and equality in the workplaces as much as possible. And the best way to encourage others to assimilate the idea is to start doing it myself. And not only that, as I said earlier in my previous blogs that I also want to include more and more women in the organisations as much as possible, therefore I only want to hire female film crew – or hire 50% women and 50% men for the film crew. So nobody’s being left out.
As the film’s setting is Britain in present day – London to be precise. So I want it to be relevant and current and communicate cultural differences. And since it’s a coming-of-age film, I have to bone up on how today’s teenagers talk, languages or slangs that they use, and their lifestyle, for instance. I also have to conduct lots of researches for my film. That’s why I devote most of my time to do just that and many other things that I need to do as well. Therefore I haven’t blogged much lately. In the end, I hope all the hard, untold work I have done for my upcoming film pays off.
This will be my first feature-length screenplay and feature film that I write and, possibly, make it myself. I want to be a self-made woman; I don’t want to wait for the opportunity to come to me, or wait for others to give me the chance to do something. I will stop waiting for the opportunity to come and knock on my door. I will try to create something myself instead and see how it goes.
I have been working in film industry for 15 years now. In retrospect, think about all the things I could have been producing in all the years. It took me many years before it begins to dawn on me: Why don’t I just start creating something myself? The realisation is a sheer delight. I’m just so excited that I’m about to embark on the making of my first feature film on my own. Again, only if I could get a fund for it. And I will play one of the main characters, too.
I start reading and analysing my script tonight, to revise it one last time looking for errors, incorrect grammar, boring scenes and language, etc. Then, I’m done! I will not spend more time on it. This week is the final revision of my screenplay, so that I can move on! I am drinking Singha beer while I’m going through my manuscript. I drink beer because tonight is more of a reading of the script and taking note of the things I want to adjust. I will not write anything tonight. Therefore I allow myself to drink beer since I will not use much of my brain to rewrite the script tonight. And a glass of cold beer is to celebrate the completion of my script. Although it’s only a halfway through. But at least the first draft is now done. And that’s half the success already. I am so happy now that the majority of the screenplay is complete. I have to finish it fast before I’m getting too busy and don’t have time to finalise it. So, tonight, I might go to bed late. Because, I might be in the mood to rescript it later on tonight. But that can only be a good thing. Then, my screenplay will be finished faster. I so look forward to starting the making of the film myself. So, the quicker I finish the script, the sooner I can begin to shoot the film. That’s one of my motivations to polish off the screenplay as soon as possible.
I don’t know if I want to go to bed now or work on my screenplay? I start going to bed quite early at the moment, so that I can get up early and start working on my script. Right now, I work best in the morning. Beforetime, I liked working on my manuscript at night, and sometimes even till the sun came up. Now, my mind works best in the morning.
But tonight since I am free all day tomorrow, which I hope, I may want to work on my screenplay until late because I can wake up whenever I want tomorrow. Or, I just go to bed now and start working on my manuscript very early in the morning instead. I stand up at 6am every day now. I just can’t wait to continue to work on my script since I am almost done with it. So, I’m just too excited to finally complete it.
And also, I have lots of projects lining up. I have many good ideas and stories in my head that I want to turn into screenplays and movies. Therefore I want to get this one script done asap, then I can move on to the next projects. But I also have to work, to make a living. I don’t have the luxury to just stay home and write all day long. And that’s why my screenplay takes a little longer to finish. But I will finalise it, at long last. And it must be soon.
This screenplay is something personal to me. So I feel, it’s my onus to complete it – no matter what. I therefore work really hard to write a good script. Nothing can stop me now. I really, really hope, it will be this week that I can finally complete it. I know, I have been saying this for some time now that I will finish my screenplay tomorrow or this week. And I’m still not get it done up till now. But, things happen and I also have to work. Anyway, I won’t let any snags hinder my goal of being accomplished. I am determined to finish this screenplay, so I must follow through and get it done.
I have bought a Singha Beer ready to celebrate when I am done with my screenplay. I feel like drinking it now. But I won’t do that. I will drink it when I’m totally finished the manuscript. If I drank it now I would feel sleepy and can’t continue to work on my script. That’s a temptation I have to resist. I don’t drink alcohol every day anyway, only socially So, it’s easy for me to oppose this temptation.
It’s also a busy day for me today. I still have lots to do. I just came home not long ago. Then, I have to go out again in a few hours. And the weather is mad today like yesterday. But I have to go out, then I have to go out. There’s no other way around. I so look forward to the summer when the weather is like this. I want to enjoy the sunshine, warm weather, walk around and eat ice cream, go to the beach, and wear nice summer clothes. Not long now before summer arrives. Now we are in March. Then April, May, and June which is the beginning of summertime.
But from April or May, and even now except today and the last couple of days, the weather starts getting nicer and nicer already, preparing itself for the summer. And as always, I will hop on a train and go somewhere interesting in UK or even Europe this summer, to experience somewhere new and explore the world some more. I am a spontaneous person and love travelling. Therefore sometimes I don’t plan my travel . I just go.
Here’s a new one-woman show video: Will You Marry Me? When I did the solo performance videos I made lots of shows at once. Why not? When I have plenty of time to do so I make lots of videos at once. Then, I don’t have to think about making a new one every day since I will be busy with lots of things daily. So when I have time I take a full advantage of it to record as many shows as possible and save them individually – one video one play. And that’s why I have so many clips from different productions to post each day.
Acting is fun. I love it and never get tired of it. I cannot wait to act in my own upcoming feature film if I decide to make the movie myself. I have a good feeling that my screenplay is going to be good. Therefore I really try to finish it asap, but at this moment I’m also too busy with lots of things, so my mission to complete my manuscript as soon as possible isn’t that possible anyway. But I’m working on it, to finish it as quickly as I can every time I have a chance to continue with it.
And If I made the movie myself I then had the opportunity to produce it, play in it, and direct it. So it could establish 3 careers for me in 3 different fields, which I will just call it a filmmaker to make it sound less complicated. Because, it doesn’t matter if you’re a producer or a director or an actor, and the like, you are a filmmaker. So when I think about the rewards of turning it into a movie myself it’s likely that I want to produce the film myself.
I took some new selfies this morning, just for fun. I haven’t used my camera for a long time to take photos. I mainly use my mobile phone to take pictures and selfies. This is the same camera I use to make my YouTube videos. When I want quality videos and images I use actual camera. When I merely take photos for fun I use mobile phone. But only if I have time to edit the photos that I use a real camera, especially when I take indoor photos. I don’t know. My studio has such a bad light. Maybe because there are only two windows/doors (on the balcony) next to each other, and that’s it. No other windows. There are just walls, walls, walls for the rest of the studio. There is a small window in the kitchen, though. But that just doesn’t help much.
But this camera is excellent when I take pictures outdoor. I don’t even need to edit them. They are just perfect straight from the camera. But when I take photos indoor I do need to manipulate them some more because the lighting in my studio isn’t that good. As I mentioned earlier due to limited windows. But I don’t walk around with a big camera in my bag every time I want to take a clear snapshot of myself. I can live with just my mobile phone. But this morning, I was in the mood to use my camera after a long time since I wanted some nice, sharp images. And the result is bad quality images since I took them indoor. Next time, I really have to go outside with my camera and take pictures if I want crisp photos. I think my mobile phone takes even nicer pictures indoor.
It’s a comedy night tonight! I have been working on my manuscript all day long. Now it’s time to relax. Right now, I just want to see something more laid-back and funny. Then, I will resume after I have watched a good film. And I plan to make a short film out of my screenplay as well. So, I will soon look for cast & crew for my upcoming filmmaking project. And it will be an all-female film crew except the cast, as I have said earlier in my previous blog. I stand up early almost every day now to really try to complete my screenplay. Nothing much left now before I am totally done with it.
Here’s another video of my solo performances: Walking Into the Sea. I will release a new video almost every day or at least once or twice a week. I am a storyteller. So I enjoy making a short video every day or whenever I can, to tell good stories and to entertain you. This is what I love doing: Entertaining people. That’s why I love acting. Therefore it just makes so much sense to me to become an actor. If you don’t love what you do you can’t find the delight and meaning in doing it. And you can’t keep doing it for so long. Me, 14 Years since 2004. And I am not going to stop anytime soon.
This video below, can you guess: What is it about? Maybe it’s not difficult to predict since I also play another person shouting, “She’s walking into the sea! I think, she’s trying to commit suicide.” It’s a one-woman show which I play 2 different characters: The first person who walks into the sea and another person who witnesses it. Although this short solo performance is only about a little less than 1 minute long (40 seconds), but it succinctly sums up the setting, plot, and protagonist.
The setting is, of course, the sea. The plot is someone is trying to commit suicide. The protagonist could either be the person who walks into the sea or the witness – or both. We don’t know yet if the person who tries to commit suicide is going to be rescued or not? And what will happen next? And why does he/she want to commit suicide? There’s a lot of questions here in just less than 1 minute of a one person show, which creates suspense and intrigue.
So, the limitation of actors doesn’t stop the play of being entertaining and interesting. It depends on the performance and the plot and all other elements as well, to make a piece. It’s just amazing how much you can do with a solo performance. Only the sky’s the limit. Just let your imagination run wild. I’m passionate about performing. So I love exploring all forms of acting. I do acting pretty much for my own enjoyment.
My feature-length screenplay could be finished tomorrow! I try really hard to finally complete it. It’s tough when I have lots to do, and at the same time trying to finish my script. So I work extremely hard to do each task each day according to how important each one is. My calendar is jam-packed with several assignments daily. And I have to prioritise. Otherwise, the most essential duties may never be accomplished. And at this moment, finishing my screenplay is of paramount importance since it could establish my writing and filmmaking career – if I concentrate on writing a good script, which I’m trying really hard right now. And also because, I have a good feeling about it that it’s going to be a good screenplay. So, I never give up on it. If it’s something I can sense it’s not going to be good I would stop trying a long time ago and starting on something else instead. But, I keep going because I know my hard work will pay off in the end. I’m just very positive about it.
A clip from Richard E. Grant by Spotlight to encourage you to never giving up. As an actor myself, I can identify with everything he says. And I couldn’t agree more. Personally, first and foremost, you have to believe in yourself first. If you didn’t believe in yourself and didn’t trust your instinct, no one would believe in you either.