Self Development


I have been stalking by my neighbours for the past 1-2 years, especially during summertime because it’s warm, so they can just open their terrace doors and come outside to stand and stare at me constantly without giving a damn how I would feel! Their flats are just the opposite mine. So they can just look right through my windows. One of them is white, which I’m not sure if he’s white British or not, he even lives with his girlfriend or wife. But he doesn’t care. He just stalks me when she doesn’t see. But he slows down a little bit after I have given him a stern look a few times lately. But in the past, he even called his friend that I am now coming out of my flat and standing on my balcony. He said it out loud, as if he didn’t think I could speak and understand English. When he saw me walking down the road passing his flat, he would come out and stare at me as if I am not human or something. I have no feeling whatsoever. He made me feel like a sex object in broad daylight, right in front of my face. I almost cried. Often time, I was thinking to go over to his flat and tell him to stop stalking me. But since now he doesn’t seem to stalk me that much anymore, so I put that idea on hold for now.

But another male neighbour – who looks Chinese or Vietnamese or Thai, but he looks Chinese to me – he still continues to stalk me and it’s getting worse and worse. Recently, I even saw him open his terrace door and take pictures of me or film me. The first few times I saw it, I thought maybe I was paranoid. So I didn’t think anything serious about it. Also, as soon as he saw me see him doing it, he would then point his mobile phone that he used to take pictures of me or film me to another direction instead pretending he’s filming the nature, the garden, and things like that not me. But 2 weeks ago, he did take pictures of me or film me again while I was cooking dinner in my flat. I then gave him the finger! When he saw me giving him the finger, he stopped taking pictures of me or filming me and walked away.

It was the last straw. I then called the police right away. The police arrived and promised me to go talk to the male. But before they left, one of the police officers, who was female, saw my fish sauce in my open kitchen, she then asked me where I’m from, how long I have been living in UK, what I do for a living, and so on. When I told her that her questions seem irrelevant to the matter, she replied that she just wanted to know so that she could put it in the report. After the police left, I didn’t see them going over to the male’s flat to ask him as they promised me. But I could be wrong. After that day, the man still continues to stalk me as usual. I mean, if the police did actually speak to him, he would be scared and stop doing what he’s doing. So how come he still carries on to stalk me – nothing has changed. Tomorrow, if I see him stalk me again I will go over and speak to him myself. I will also report him to the neighbourhood team, to make them aware of the situation.

The reason why I blog about it is that to make people aware of that this is one of the main reasons why many victims in sexual assault cases do not want to come forward or report the offenders since they fear nobody would believe them anyway. The result would then be that they end up embarrassing themselves for reporting the crime in the first place. Some who are very vulnerable could even wind up committing suicide because of shame, and also because they are being victimised further by others who do not want or refuse to believe them. I will therefore encourage all victims to come forward no matter what. If you do not speak up for yourself, you let the culprits continue to do what they want as long as no one dares to speak up.

Photo from last year.

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