I plan to attend an acting class as well very soon, so that I can act in my own film. It’s not that I don’t know how to act in front of camera. I had been to acting school before about 10 years ago, which was a long time ago. I think, I need to improve my acting skills some more, to be able to act in my own film. If I’m going to act in my own film, I think I need to be well-prepared. Acting for others is different. But to act in my own film, with me as a director as well, will be more tough. So I need to equip myself with all the skills that will help make my film a success. Because about 2 weeks from now, I am going to start my Script Writing and Directing For Film & TV classes as well. So one more class in acting, too, would be an excellent idea. I want to make my own film. But I don’t just make it. I try to gain more skills and knowledge in this field as much as I can, both from the schools and from my own experience being on film set working in front of camera since 2004. It does help a lot. I feel more and more confident and ready to make my own film.
I have time to cook good food for myself today. When I say good, I don’t mean expensive food or anything like that. It’s just home-cooked, quality food, which I make it myself, with fresh ingredients and produce that I buy from the market. When I have time, I like spending my quality time cooking good, delicious food for myself. It could be something as simple as a noodle soup or fried rice. But because I make it myself, so it is something special to me. I know what’s in it, where I bought the ingredients, how it’s being prepared, and so on. It’s a true enjoyment, doing my own cooking and being in the kitchen making good food for myself.
This is how I celebrate and give myself a little gift once in a while when I have reached a little goal. I did achieve my small target by completing the character of the lead actress for my script last night. So today, I have to remember to reward myself for the hard work I’ve done.
But also, I have not done any cooking at home for the past couple of weeks. I was busy filming and working. So I ate at work and on set, most of the time. Or, I bought a takeaway home on my way home from work or filming. So I really miss homemade food. The food is, sometimes, good at work or on set. But, there’s nothing like comfort food. The food that you make it yourself. And I love cooking. So today is a relaxing day, enjoy good meal and watch TV. Life is good.
I am actively working on the character of the lead actress right now, for my screenplay. I’m almost done with it. Tonight, I feel like working on my manuscript as much as I can. I can reveal a little bit that I might play the lead role myself. I’m not sure yet. But it’s possible. After I finish with the lead actress, I will continue with the lead actor as well. I feel, I have so much energy to work on my film script all of the sudden. And that’s why, I always have my laptop by my side on my nightstand. Because when the inspiration strikes, I want to be able to write everything down right away. I feel, I should concentrate more on my film script now, so that I could start making my own feature film anytime soon. The prospect of making my first feature film ever and it would be seen at film festivals across the globe thrills me. I think that would be my motivation to finalize my script as fast as I can. I think, when you have something to look forward to, the result and the rewards that come with it, you will work harder to reach your goals faster.
I start practising my dance routines at home. If I really want to become a dancer, I will have to practise and practise. That’s the way to go. Practise is the key. Then when next time I have to attend the dancing class again, I will be able to follow the tutor and the rest of the class. And then, I will enjoy dancing more and feel more confident. I will find time to dance every day. I think, I’m getting there. When I began to practise, it wasn’t too bad. In the clip below, I only practised a few steps. There are more. But I couldn’t remember. When I attend the dancing class again next time, I will try to remember some more routines to practise at home.
My other job is working as an even staff. It gives me full flexibility to do my acting jobs. I can’t have a Monday-Friday and 9-5 job since it will not allow me to do my acting jobs. Acting jobs need me to be fully flexible, ready to be on set anytime, available any day, and at short notice sometimes. I was used to having a good, full time job. But then, I had to quit it, to devote all my time to pursue my dreams as an actress, dancer, filmmaker, and screenwriter instead. So I found a new job that won’t interfere with my acting jobs – an event staff. It’s not a bad job. I also have my own company selling cosmetics and jewelry. But that will be closed down as well. I can’t have a business if I want to pursue my career in acting. They just don’t work together, I think. They are two different fields and need lots of attention and dedication. So, I can’t also concentrate on other things since I want to focus on my acting career 100%. Unless, I am already rich and famous. Then I can use my money to do what I want and hire others to do the jobs for me.
It’s quite similar to acting jobs, actually, working as an event staff. I work all over London. I meet new, interesting people all the time. I work when I feel like to where and when. I am a hard working person. I don’t mind working day shift or night shift. And sometimes long shift. It’s almost the same as acting jobs anyway. Today you work with these groups of people, company, location, and so on. Then tomorrow, you work with completely different groups of people and company and location. So, there’s no different from the acting jobs. Except that you don’t have to do any acting as an event staff. You just have to work hard, be professional, nice & polite (well, it’s the same as acting jobs again).
So I work hard to fulfill my dreams. I didn’t take my acting career seriously in the past. But now, I’ll do whatever it takes to make my dreams come true. Even it means, I have to work long hours, and sometimes working 7 days a week.
I attended a Commercial Jazz dancing class for absolute beginner earlier this afternoon. It’s in Jazz / Contemporary category. Even though, it is for absolute beginner, I find it quite hard to follow. The dancing class I attended about 2 weeks ago, Commercial Groove, was more easy. And it’s for all levels. Even this dancing class, Commercial Jazz, is for absolute beginner, many students who attended the class today have been there many times already. So the class started right away. No introduction, no nothing. As soon as the tutor turned on the music, beginners just started dancing along. Because they already knew the dance steps since they have attended the workshop many times before. I just jumped right in. I didn’t know where to start and how to begin? It went so fast. So I tried to follow as much as I could.
So after 5 minutes, I ran out of the class. I thought I went to the wrong class. Then the lady sitting in front of the class waiting for another class told me, it is for beginner. So, I am in the right class. She told me to go back in and try my best. I then went back in. After 30 minutes, I was able to follow the tutor and the rest of the class. Even though it was just a little bit. But it’s better than nothing.
It’s a tough dance style, I think. I drank a lot during the dance. I sweat a lot as well. And I could feel my tummy got so tense, which means this dance style really tightened up my stomach. So it’s an excellent dance style for me anyway since I have dreamed of having a six-pack for a very long time. Now, I could get it in the very near future if I continued to dance regularly.
The Commercial Groove dance is more easy for me. It wasn’t that hard, compared to Commercial Jazz. When I attended the Commercial Groove dance, I wasn’t that tired. I didn’t drink much during the dance lesson either. And I could follow the tutor and other students better than this class, Commercial Jazz.
Watch the video below how I tried to follow the tutor and other students during the Commercial Jazz dance. I looked like a girl just started dancing for the very first time. But that was just the first 10 minutes or so. After I had danced a little bit longer, repeating the same steps again and again, it began to be less and less difficult. It’s all about practising. Do it again and again. Until I get it.
So, I think, I will practise it every day. I will use my studio as my dance studio, practising my dance steps. I hope, I am not going to disturb my neighbors with lots of noises. My neighbor next door to me, he’s a working actor himself. And my other neighbor living underneath my flat, he’s also a musician, I think. Probably, a guitarist. Because, I saw he has lots of guitars hanging on the walls and by the walls as well. I knew this because one day, I heard some noises coming out of his flat. I then went to his flat and knocked at the door. When he opened the door, I saw nothing but guitars almost everywhere. So since they are artistes themselves working in the entertainment industry like me (They are just real professionals. They do for a living. I’m just an aspiring actress.), I hope they will understand me.
I tried to follow others as much as I could. It’s my first time, after all. I also wore the wrong dance outfit.
I’m on my way out to dancing class. Looking forward to moving my body along with the music. I got up pretty early today since I was so excited to begin to dance again. This is a feeling of true passion. When I really love what I do, I can’t wait to begin. This is going to be a wonderful day.
Just got home from work, so tired. I came home about 2 hours ago. I planned to go buy new gym outfits after work. But I was too tired. I just wanted to go home as quickly as possible. I couldn’t walk around in the store, try this and try that on, stand in a long queue to pay for the items, etc. I prefer to go shopping when I have a free day instead. Then I can relax, not in a hurry, take my time to try stuff, browse around the shop, and so on. I can just use whatever I have then for the dancing class tomorrow. Then when I have a day off, I will go buy new workout clothing. It’s Saturday today. I think, there will be some good films on TV. But, I don’t know about I will stay up late. I want to save my energy for the dancing lesson tomorrow. So I might go to bed early tonight anyway. I am used to going to bed quite early at the moment. So even though I have nothing to do the day after, or I don’t need to stand up that early, I still like to go to bed early. I like waking up early because it gives me a feeling of having so much energy, to do anything. Maybe, I will even get up at 4am tomorrow morning to work on my screenplay. Now, I will just turn off the television and read a book instead. I have two books that I bought last winter which I haven’t gone that far with the reading yet. Well, I have read the first chapter of one of the novels. But that it. Tonight, I will continue to read it. I am rather tired after work. But I feel like reading. I don’t know why. I am so exhausted. So I don’t know how many pages I can manage to read. I just feel, I need peace and quiet. I have been working and filming a lot lately, surrounded by lots of people. Then when I’m home, I either watch TV or listen to music. So tonight, I don’t want to hear or listen to anything. I just want to shut myself off from all the sounds, and just read and read, use my imagination instead.
I am a busy actress at the moment. I have lots of things going on right now. I am going to start my Script Writing and Directing for Film & TV classes within 1-2 weeks from now. Then, I also plan to go to acting & accent classes as well in the very near future. I want to be a working actress. So I need to improve my acting skills. I learn acting skills on set. But it’s not enough, I think. I need to attend an actual acting class to learn the right techniques and get some feedback from the tutor and fellow classmates.
Tomorrow, I’m also going to attend a dancing class again. I go to dancing class, martial arts workshop, work on my own feature film, and so on at the moment. Every day, there’s something to do. But, I like it. I like being busy doing what I’m passionate about, film, dancing, and keeping myself in good form. So, I go to dancing and martial arts classes mainly just to exercise. As I said before, I don’t like going to the gym. If I want to have a toned body, then I do dancing and martial arts activities instead. But then, I want to add some new skills to my resume as well. So the dancing and martial arts classes do benefit me in so many levels, which is a good thing.
After work today (yes, I do have a normal job, too, when I don’t do filming), I will go buy new workout outfits for my dancing class tomorrow. I have some t-shirts and shorts at home. But, they are not proper fitness clothing. So I need to buy new, real ones. I look very much forward to dancing again tomorrow. I love the movements of dance. They are so beautiful! I can be myself in that moments, expressing myself creatively, letting go, and just enjoying life to the fullest.
Sometimes, I like watching movie that is not so far from our everyday life. A film that portrays a true side of life which many of us oversee, or choose to ignore it, to make us feel better. Life is an interesting thing in itself. And that’s why, I like telling stories and wanting to become a filmmaker. I have a strong interest in the study of people and life. And I enjoy watching films in all genres, as long as it’s good and gives me something to reflect on. Like this film, “Dreams of A Life.” It’s a based-on-true-story British film. It’s a documentary film. No well-known stars, no special effects, no nothing. Just the pure story of a woman who died alone in a bedsit somewhere in London. Nobody cared or missed her – just like that?! I have never seen anything like this. That someone dies and no one comes and looks for the person for so many years? How can someone live a life without any contact to other human beings? I mean, a genuine contact, like family and real friends. She lived in a big capital, London, not in a jungle. It shows, how tough big cities can be. And that this is the reality that we try to run away from. I really recommend everyone to watch this movie, to see for yourself what I mean. Enjoy!