I forgot my birthday is 27 January which was two weeks ago. Well, I didn’t really forget it. I just don’t, actually, celebrate my birthday. So, for me, every day is the same. This year looks promising for me. I think. First of all, I am determined to quit working as a background artiste for good. Second of all, I will start working hard to make my dreams as an actress, writer & director come true. So, for me, getting older means I have become more decisive, more hard working, more positive about my future, and just go for it.
Life is full of possibilities and surprises. One thing leads to another. You never know what’s in store for you. So I just have to enjoy life to the full and be optimistic. And everything will be ok. So, this year, I will do whatever I can to achieve my goals and forget about how difficult it will be. When I have reprogrammed my mind to think enthusiastically about my future I enjoy every step I take to reach my objectives. Every action I make to move myself closer to my goals is an adventure in itself. And I feel, I have moved forward – even if just a little.
Today, I continued to work on my feature-length drama screenplay since I stood up. And I am almost done with the first half of the script, which is about 50-60 pages. I will just write and write and try to make it to the end. I will see, if I will be able to type FADE OUT today. So, after this blog post, I will work non-stop to be able to achieve that. Even if it means I may have to work until the sun comes up.
Just finished filming the final movie, to end my job as a background artiste and start a new chapter of my life in which I will only focus on working as an actress – no more background works. I will quit working as a background artiste for good this time. So, it’s a great movie to be involved in for the last time. Well, I mean as a background artiste. I want to take my acting career seriously. So, I have decided not to work as a background artiste anymore. And for many reasons as well, not just that I want to be an actor. I don’t feel embarrassed telling people I work as a background artiste. People have to start from somewhere. It’s been an amazing ride for the past 14 years, though. I think, I have learned a lot which is also useful for my career as a filmmaker.
It’s been an incredible experience to be a part of something unique and exciting and meet some wonderful, interesting, professional people. And I am grateful to some for believing in me. It doesn’t require a lot of people to believe in you – maybe just one person is enough, especially if that person has a prominent role. Then, anybody else who worked for him didn’t believe in me, I didn’t really care.
I was very impressed by his ability to see the potential in each individual. Not many people have that types of skill and insight. No wonder he does what he does since this type of profession requires someone with exceptional people skills and someone who is insightful. So, I feel lucky that I have met and worked with someone so creative and imaginative like him.
As Lady Gaga said below, which I couldn’t agree more because it’s just so true, and because it is how I also feel:
Back home again. Tomorrow, I have to wake up even earlier than today. So, after this blog post I will go straight to bed. Then, when I have a day off I will continue to work on my feature-length drama screenplay. Last year, I had to put my feature-length sci-fi/horror screenplay on hold because I saw a drama script competition and thought I’d try my luck at winning it instead. Then, I can always go back and continue to work on my horror/sci-fi script. But then, I couldn’t meet a deadline and I’d already made an outline for it and more. So I have to complete the drama screenplay anyway. As soon as I finish it, I will right away continue to work on my horror/sci-fi screenplay. Because, sci-fi and action are the genres that I like the most. So if I didn’t want to win the drama screenplay contest I would have finished, or almost completed, my horror/sci-fi script already. So I am really looking forward to finalizing my drama screenplay, at long last. Then, I can go back and continue to work on my horror/sci-fi screenplay asap.
I just got home a while ago. I consider seeing a good film before taking a shower and go to bed. Or, I can take a shower now and then see if I feel like watching a movie after that or not. If not I will just go straight to bed after shower since I have to get up early tomorrow morning, more early than today. So, maybe it’s a good idea that I go to bed right after shower.
But, if I decided to see a good movie I might see Arrival (which I love it and I have seen it only once) or Annihilation (I have never seen it before and some say it’s similar to Arrival) or Aliens (this one I have seen many times already, but I can never get tired of seeing it again and again) or I might even see Blade Runner 2049 because I have seen the original one 2-3 times and love it! So, I might check the second one out. But it’s almost 3 hours long. I might watch something else tonight and see it another day instead when I don’t have to stand up early.
I think, it’s better I go take a shower now. Then I can make up my mind later what I want to do, afterwards.
I improvised an act not long ago. It was ok. It’s good to be able to watch back my performance how it went. It makes me feel more confident even if it’s a bad show because I can then see how I am on stage and use that knowledge to improve my acting skill accordingly. I wouldn’t say it’s a bad staging. Maybe I just don’t like it that much, compared to other presentations I have done. Anyway, by watching back how I appear I gain more insight in my acting ability. So from now on, I will study my own performances as much as I can if I really want to improve my acting. I want to take my acting career seriously. So anything I can do to refine my art I will do it. And that’s why I also go to acting and writing classes regularly, to always develop my expertise in both fields. I see every performance I have done, big or small, as a valuable experience to build up my talent. So, nothing goes to waste even if it’s a bad show.
I’m really happy with my script so far, even though I’m not completely finished writing it yet. But I just know, it will be a sensational screenplay. Hopefully. It just contains all the elements of a high concept screenplay. I think. Now, if I want to make the movie out of it myself I will have to look for a producer if I can’t be a producer myself – or just sell the script. But I’m pretty sure that I will make the movie out of it myself and play one of the main characters, not the protagonist. And I may become a producer as well. Just keep the budget as low as possible. Therefore when I write my screenplay I try to think about simple locations, props, and so on. One of the good things in making drama films, same with horror movies, is that you can get away with lots of things, especially location. In many horror and drama movies, you see almost only one location or just a few such as Night of The Living Dead, Manchester by the Sea. It’s that simple. When you have a good concept location doesn’t really matter, in my opinion. So, let’s see if I can create a good movie out of a few locations.
I need to take a break from working on my screenplay and listen to music for a while, after having been working on my screenplay all day long . It’s looking good so far. I’m really happy with it. I try to write 20 more pages tonight. Then, I will have completed the first half of Act 2. I have been drinking lots of coffee all day. So I think, I may be able to produce 20 more pages tonight. If not I will just try to write as much as I can tonight. I don’t have to stand up early tomorrow morning. So I can go to bed as late as I want to.
Now the time is only about 10:30pm. I think, I can go to bed around 1am if I decide to write 20 more pages. That’s about 2.5 hours to write. I don’t know if it’s enough to write 20 pages? Anyway, I will try. The most tricky part is Act 2: How do you keep the entertainment alive throughout Act 2? I’m not worried about Act 3 that much because I already have the answer for Act 3 or have already written Act 3 – just roughly. But Act 2 is the longest part and the most difficult one. So, I have to focus more on it and make it as gripping as much as I can.
I have already made an outline for the whole screenplay. But still, I have to really come up with some exciting scenes that keep the readers turning pages throughout the script, especially Act 2. Otherwise, it will be a boring screenplay. And then when I send it out it may be used as a doorstop instead. Or even worse, it may be chucked in a bin after just the first page. Or even just after the first paragraph. So I really pour my heart & soul in Act 2, to create a harmony for the whole script.
Have you ever read a book or seen a film that seems exciting in the beginning, but then toward the middle of it your interest in continuing with it disappears? So, I try to avoid that. I want it to be captivating throughout. Some of the books that I couldn’t put them down till I finished reading them were The Girl with The Dragon Tattoo (I have only read it in Danish or Swedish. I have never read it in English), Angels & Demons, The Da Vinci Code, The Girl on The Train, for instance. So I try to achieve that, which would be excellent if I could do the same with my screenplay.
When I get up in the morning the first thing I do is to make a cup of coffee. When I have my coffee I feel so awake. I don’t need breakfast for now. Just the coffee. Then about an hour or two later, I will have my early meal. I feel like going out for a walk. Maybe I will walk to Wimbledon Village, which takes me about 15-20 minutes. But I will try to make a progress with my screenplay as much as I can today. So, every minute matters. I therefore must stay home and try to get my screenplay done as much as possible.
If I could not finish my script today but maybe I could at least manage to finish Act 2 that would be good. I have already made an outline to page 115 or something. So, the whole screenplay is already complete just in a draft form. Now, I will only have to add more details in each scene, which makes my writing job more easy. Because, now I know precisely where I am going. I think, it’s going to be a very good screenplay. I can just feel it.
Writing something from a true story that I know very well offers many advantages, because this feature-length drama screenplay I’m working on now is based on a true story, such as it makes me write my script faster without thinking much because I know the story inside out, there is a personal attachment to it which makes the script more personal and unique. And I want the readers and audiences to sense that.
Now I will continue to work on my script right away.
I woke up around 3am or 3:30am already today. But I also went to sleep early. I think, it was around 9pm I went to bed. So I think, I had slept enough. It’s getting colder and colder. But it looks sunny outside now. I make a traditional full English breakfast for myself today. I have been eating this type of breakfast for the past few weeks. Now, I’m also having it again this weekend. I can’t come up with a new variation of breakfast at the moment. So I just continue to eat what I normally eat. But also because I don’t eat much lunch and dinner. So I eat more for early meal instead, which balances my nutrition for the whole day anyway.
I try to finish my screenplay this weekend. So, I may not attend dancing class for today and martial arts class for tomorrow. I really want to finalize Act 2 today. And I will aim to complete the whole screenplay this weekend. That’s the idea. That’s why I will not go anywhere this weekend. Bringing my script to the end is my top priority at this moment. All other things can wait. Becoming a screenwriter is my alternative career as well. So, I have to take it seriously. And this screenplay I’m working on now will prove that if I can write a good script or not. So, I’m working hard to achieve that.
But I have also promised the others at the writing class that I will bring more of my screenplay to the class next time, so that they can read more of it and give me a new feedback. And I, actually, want further comments for the rest of my screenplay because it helps me improve my writing. Therefore, I work hard at the moment to accomplish my script as soon as possible since I have something to look forward to: New, constructive reactions. It certainly helps when there is a motivation that makes you want to push yourself toward your goal as fast as you can.
I decided to attend a martial art class anyway yesterday, which was rather tough since it was for 3 hours from 18:30-21:30. But I learned some useful, unarmed fighting techniques. So, it was worthwhile. I will stick to attending the class on Sundays, unless I have something to do on some Sundays that I can’t attend the class. I also have to practise. It’s not going to do me any good if I go to dancing and martial art classes, but I will not train at home as well. All that time I spend going there will be a waste, except that I get to exercise. So, I have to start practising as well.
By the way, we also got to meet a stuntman from Jackie Chan’s stunt team which we could ask him anything. So, it was totally awesome to actually come face to face with the person who is really experienced in doing stunts for a well-known martial arts actor.
Below is a clip of me doing an unarmed fight scene: